Top 3 Things Your New Mom Friends Want From You
July 15, 2015 
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I can totally relate to this because some of the things on this list were the things I appreciated the most, especially this first one.
1. Food
Yes, bring her food, but leave the 13-by-9 dish of lasagna at home. It will just sit in her fridge half-eaten for a month, the pan a huge burden for her to clean. Plus, you won't see your casserole dish again for two years. Just assume after nine months of eating clean and healthy, she's more than ready for a big ‘ol No. 1, supersized. With a side of strawberry shake and a big-ass bag of peanut M&Ms. All washed down with a Corona. Lime optional. When she answers the door and sees all that crappy goodness in your hands, be prepared for spontaneous weeping.
2. No Labor Stories or Small Talk
By now she has recounted her birth story ad nauseam, both in her own head and to all the visiting friends and family. And she has made tedious chitchat with well-meaning neighbors and her mother-in-law's church group, while truly wishing everyone would just shut the hell up and let her go take a shower. So after quick hellos, take her baby, walk her to the bathtub, and tell her to take as long as she needs; you'll be there when she's done. Then vacuum, wipe down the counters, start dinner. Make a date to talk about how painful those contractions were in about six months. (By then they won't be as painful.)
3. Paint Her Toenails and Blow Out Her Hair
Bonus! Both of these pampering luxuries can be done to her while she is feeding the baby, or half sleeping, and neither require conversation. Plus, that pedi she had at 37 weeks has completely chipped off, and there is no way in hell a trip to a nail salon is anywhere in her near future. After that shower she took earlier, prop her up in a recliner, grab a rolling brush and spend a good 45 minutes drying her hair and coating her piggies in bright red. This is better than any new baby gift on the planet. Again, spontaneous weeping may ensue.
You also totally have to check out number 3 on this list. I would've killed for someone to do that for me every day. You can find it on The Mid. When you're finished reading, leave us a comment and add to the list.
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