This Is Why Moms Are Always Late!

Scary Mommy is revealing the scary truth about being on time when you're a mom. Here's the scoop: now that you're a mom, you'll never be on time again. In fact, if by some miracle you do arrive on time, you will have forgotten something.

Here are some of the reasons you'll be late forever:

1. Both my children had to poop as soon as we left the driveway.

2. My kids were fighting over who got to sit in which seat.

3. All of a sudden, none of their shoes seemed to have a mate. NONE.

4. There was a wardrobe malfunction that led to wet underwear and a much-needed, last-minute bath.

5. My kids got suddenly parched, which led to drinks, which led to snacks. So, we’re here to meet you for lunch, but frankly, no one is hungry.

6. No one heard me say “it’s time to go,” even though I said it 20 times … at various volumes.

7. My daughter decided this would be a good time to have a meltdown over something that happened hours ago. Did I say hours? I meant days.

8. My dog, who had just gone out, decided to pee on the floor.

9. My son found the dog pee… with his foot.

10. My kids were fighting over what radio station I would get stuck listening to.

11. My son remembered that he forgot to do his homework.

12. My daughter changed 13 times until she felt she found an outfit that said, “I’m fashionable, but not so chic that I can’t meet someone for fro yo.”

13. My kids bumped heads getting into the car.

14. I couldn’t find one of my kids, he/she was waiting in the car.

There are 19 more great excuses… reasons…. you'll be late forever at Scary Mommy. Check out the list because I'm going to go ahead and guarantee that you'll use all of them at least once.

We can't make this stuff up. Go ahead and get used to being late for the next 20 years. But since you're already late, there's no harm in stopping by the Starbucks drive through. You're going to need that coffee my friend.