Stress Relief – When A Massage Won’t Cut It

Massages.  At $60 and up, this is just not a cost-effective measure.  Plus there’s the whole I-don’t-own-a-limo-or-have-a-personal-driver, so there is the conundrum of transportation.  Let’s get real here – the last thing I want to do after getting my muscles pummeled and I now resemble a noodle is drive.  I’m sure society as a whole would not appreciate me behind the wheel after a massage.  Although I’m pretty sure it’s not a felony driving offense.   There is hope – massage schools are always in need of victims…..students need to log so many hours.  That will take care of the price point, but not the driving issue.

Meditation.  Seriously?  Who has time to focus on breathing while sitting in place and thinking deep thoughts when your toddler has decided to cut his own hair instead of napping?  How did he even Like he’s supposed to be doing.

S.W.E.E.P. One site touts the S.W.E.E.P. method to relieve “family stress”. S – Sleep, or quality/quantity of your sleep.  W – Work, or work fulfillment, whether it be in or outside the home.  E – Eating, or healthy food = healthy mood.  E – Emotional Expression of Self, or are people aware of your feeling and are you connecting to your SO.  P – Play, or enjoyment of life.  There are about 1,000 things wrong with this theory, but I’ll let you soak it in and reach your own conclusions.

Now, onto my list of practical stress relievers:

1. Screaming into a pillow.

2. More wine.

3. Counting to 10.

4. Counting backwards from 10.

5. More wine.

6. Counting to 100.

7. Shipping the kids to your parents and sleeping.

8. Shipping the kids to an orphanage and sleeping. (just kidding).

Written by: Allyson Johns