Mommy Pet Peeves

1. Old people who grocery shop at rush hour.  Look, you’ve had all day to get your soup.  You’ve probably been awake since 4:30am, so why do you wait until 4:30pm to buy your cat food?  I’m in a hurry, no offense, so I really don’t have time to maneuver around your slow-ass with your cart blocking the aisle, in a grocery store packed with your fellow geriatrics.  Maybe I’ll be more sympathetic when I’m 80, but right now I have to get through this line, get home in dense traffic and cook dinner for whiny small people.  Who won’t appreciate it anyway, but the State mandates that I feed them on a regular basis.  

2. Carts parked across an aisle.  While we’re on the grocery store topic, what is up with people who happily park their carts crossways in an aisle?  I am in no mood to be running an obstacle course, so have some consideration for someone other than yourself and pull your cart to the side.  And to further unblock the aisle, stand behind your cart, not beside it – I know you’re trying to jump on each and every nerve in my body by this pseudo-blocking. 

3. Ignoring me when I try to pass.  When I try to maneuver around you, I’ve got one word for you…..MOVE.  Don’t look through me, don’t look past me in an attempt to make me invisible.  I have people at home who do this regularly and I am no amateur.  I will shoulder you aside, and I will not be gentle about it.  Acknowledge that I politely told you “Excuse me” by looking me in the eye and sliding over.  It’ll make both of our lives so much easier, and yours healthier.  

4. Children in Summer clothes in Winter.  This is not a lie – this past Sunday, after a 6-inch snowfall the day before, a dad was pushing a cart at Costco with 2 little girls.  No coats to be seen, the oldest of the two had on a sleeveless sundress, complete with sandals.  Sparkly ones. Now, if had only been the dad, I might have given him a free pass.  But the mother was standing 10 feet away, in a coat and boots.  And a scarf.  And no, she was not holding the girls’ coats.  Do not let your 4-year old dress themselves in inclement weather.  You will be judged, and not just by me.  And possibly publicly chastised. 

5. People who ignore the School Zone sign. Remember the video images of the mother, unable to wait for a school bus to move, drove up on the sidewalk and around the bus.  Apparently, she was vastly more important than the children on that bus. She is not the only one, she is one who was caught on camera.  You are not that important.  The world will not come to an end because you are 5 minutes late to work. If you are continually late, don’t hit the snooze alarm, stupid. 

When did politeness die?  And why wasn’t there an obituary in the paper informing us?

Written by: Allyson Johns