4 Scientific Tips For Happier Kids

Babble has put together a list of scientifically proven tips you can use to achieve happier kids.  Sound too good to be true?

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way we could guarantee this? Of course, like anything in life, there are no guarantees. But as the mom of five boys, I have over the years found (through trial and error, heh) that some tactics do work better than others in the quest for happy kids. Now I have the scientific evidence to back some of them up!

Here are the top 4 scientifically proven ways to keep your kids happier:

1. Make Sure They Have Plenty of Time for Play
They are kids, and I try to remember that their work is really to play. So they have time every day, with few exceptions, to get down to the business of PLAY. (Bonus? On nice days … a quiet house!)

“An article in the most recent issue of the American Journal of Play details not only how much children’s play time has declined, but how this lack of play affects emotional development, leading to the rise of anxiety, depression, and problems of attention, and self control.

2. Praise Hard Work

When my boys put in effort in a project, I try to remember to praise the work they put into the task. I want them to learn that their efforts are appreciated, even when the outcomes aren’t perfect.

“It’s better to focus on effort and the action your baby is doing. ‘You worked hard on that’ versus ‘you’re so good at that,’ ” says Stanford psychology Professor Carol S. Dweck.

3. Teach Them That Their “Negative” Emotions Are Healthy
Nobody likes to be angry, or sad, or scared. These feelings … well, they FEEL bad. But they are part of being a human, and learning that they are normal and going to happen is important for kids to understand. One great way to explain this to kids is when you are experiencing some of those emotions yourself, “See? Mom can be nervous about things, too! It’s just part of life!”

“Much of today’s popular advice to parents ignores emotion,” says Dr. Gottman. “Instead, it relies on child-rearing theories that address children’s misbehavior, but disregards the feelings that underlie that misbehavior. The ultimate goal of raising children should not be simply to have an obedient and compliant child. Most parents hope for much more for their children.”

4. Don’t Compare Them to Each Other … or to Their Friends
It can be tempting to offer up others as “examples.” But I’ve found it’s almost always best to resist that temptation. It’s really hard to get that point across without making them feel like they are pigeonholed … kids just tend to hear, “Oh, Sam is the one who is good at dunking basketballs, not me.” Or whatever the well-intentioned comparison was.

“It’s natural for parents to compare their kids, to look for a frame of reference about their milestones or their behavior, say experts.

But don’t let your child hear you doing it. Kids develop at their own pace and have their own temperament and personality. Comparing your child to someone else implies that you wish yours were different.”

I'm definitely going to work hard to practice these parenting tips every day. I think not comparing my children will be the most difficult for me. I already find myself comparing them all the time. I don't think I do it in a negative way, but I could see how it could get to be a problem if I don't nip it in the bud. Looks like I've got some Mom homework!

Want to read more of Babble's scientifically proven tips?  You can find them in the complete article by Alli Worthington at Babble.