21 Parenting Tips & Tricks From An Experienced Mom

Do you have any parenting tips or observations of your own?

1. Baby wipes are a must-have, even after your babies are no longer babies. Keep a pack in your closet. Keep a pack in your bag. Keep a pack in your car. Then keep an extra pack in case any of the aforementioned packs run out suddenly.

2. If you’re running late, someone will have a poop-related emergency. It’s some sort of unwritten law.

3. Sometimes you have to admit to your child that you were wrong, and it sucks.

4. The books you find annoying are the ones your kid will want to read over, and over, and OVER.

5. Hell hath no fury like a napless toddler. I guess my kids didn’t get the memo.

6. There are times when you will envy your childless friends—bitterly.

7. Potty training is a breeze compared to teaching successful butt-wiping.

8. Every tragic news story about children will hit you right in the gut, in a way it never would’ve before.

9. You can’t have anything nice.

10. You have to issue constant reminders to say “please” and “thank you,” but say “shit” one time in their presence and they’ll repeat it like a parrot. Children especially enjoy creating awkward social situations.

11. You will find yourself finishing off totally unappealing things, like cold chicken nuggets and grilled cheese crusts.

12. You will sound like your mother more often than you care to admit.

13. They might be quiet as church mice, but if you’re on the phone, it’s the perfect time for them to bang on things or watch a loud video or have a screaming sibling squabble.

14. You’re not alone. Read the Scary Mommy Confessional sometime—you’ll see.

15. Your kids will eat a certain food like it’s going out of style, but the minute you buy it in bulk, it loses its appeal and you end up with a case of something they are never going to finish.

16. Saying “mm-hmm” without paying attention to what you’re agreeing to is always a bad idea.

17. You never thought you’d be so excited about someone else’s toilet habits, yet here you are.

18. Kids are gross.

19. You’ve never felt anger like the kind you feel when your kid gets picked on or treated unfairly.

20. Just because they get old enough to bathe themselves doesn’t mean they’ll actually be clean.

21. Letting them grow up and be independent is sometimes agonizing.

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