10 Truths About Being A Food Allergy Mom

I'm allergic to bananas.  My husband is allergic to cats. Luckily, a dose of Benadryl and some new surroundings are all that's needed. We're used to dealing with our allergies. In the grand scheme of things, they're pretty mild. We don't have to carry epi-pens or fear for our lives if we come into contact with a cat or a banana. It's a nuisance, but it's not life threatening and the “damage” is short lived.

That's not the case with my son. He's allergic to wheat. He is very very allergic to wheat. One tiny exposure. One “cross-contamination” … and he will have reactions for at least a week. It's heartbreaking to watch. So, even though I hate being allergy mom, I make myself ask the annoying questions. I make myself double check.

Popsugar recently tackled the struggles of being a food allergy mom in an article meant to show you just what we wish you knew:

1. We're not trying to be rude.

Your homemade baked goods look absolutely divine, but please do not take offense if I kindly refuse them for my child.

Even if you swear that they are gluten free… it's not a chance I can take. There's always the possibility that you were cooking something else with gluten at the time and the two touched. Then there's the possibility that even though the box said “GLUTEN FREE!” in big letters, they hid something in the mix that isn't safe for people with Celiac Disease or wheat allergies. You see, “gluten free” isn't regulated by the FDA and I can't tell you how many times I've seen it written on the front of a package only to find wheat listed in the ingredients on the back.

2. We're not trying to ruin birthday parties.

Birthday parties are a mine field for food allergies, but trust me, we are not trying to ruin it for everyone.

I always try really hard not to mess up birthday parties. It's one of the things I feel super guilty about. But no, we can't have one of those hot dogs even if you pulled it out of the bun and brushed off the crumbs. I try to make up for it by bringing substitutes or alternatives. Heck, I'll even make enough for everyone!

3. No, it's not a myth.

I've seen what a food allergy can do firsthand, and I've got a child to protect.

Just because he does not require an epi-pen does not mean it is a myth. No, we are not just jumping on the “gluten free” band wagon to be cool. This is not our way of being hipsters. We are not trying to “stick it to the man.” It's real. His allergy is real. Just because his reaction isn't the same as or as bad as someone else you know who has a food allergy, it doesn't mean we made it up. We most certainly did not make it up. Also, just because you don't know what gluten is, doesn't mean the allergy doesn't exist.

4. Epi-pens are only for emergencies.

An autoinjector is for emergency situations when a person starts to have a life-threatening reaction that may (or may not) buy you time as you rush them to the hospital.

Why in the world would anyone think an epi-pen is an excuse for them to load my kid up with food he's allergic to? I can't even wrap my brain around that one long enough to come up with a civilized response. Just … no. no. no.

5. Doctor's appointments are the worst!

Allergy and food allergy appointments are not your run-of-the-mill trips to the doctor.

We have an appointment with a new nutritionist next month for my son. I'm dreading it. The last trip like this resulted in an irrational fear of band-aids he still hasn't overcome. Also, I hate answering the interrogation about his reactions. I just hate the whole thing and my son does too.

6. Travel is tough.

Most mamas of kids with food allergies have their safe places figured out in their own towns, but venturing out into unchartered territory with a severe food allergy can be pretty darn scary.

On our recent vacation, we realized just how long it can take to find a restaurant to have dinner. While it's becoming easier to find gluten free options at restaurants, it can still be difficult to find options for kids. Try explaining to your kid that they can't have the french fries everyone else is eating with their kids meal and will have to settle for apple slices or a fruit cup. Try it.

7. We're worried about them feeling left out.

It's a scary reality and one that we'll do anything to try and avoid.

That's why I always bring his own slice of gluten free cake to birthday parties. I avoid ordering his favorite foods at restaurants if I know there is no gluten free option (like french fries and macaroni). I try to make sure he has a gluten free equivalent for everything. It's not always easy and sometimes it can be pretty expensive, but it's so worth it.

Recently, my mother in law surprised my husband with a cheesecake for his birthday. We had no idea. She had no gluten free option. My husband and I refused our slices. We spent weeks trying to explain it to my son after he put his head down on the table and said “I cannot have that cake?” and pouted for the rest of the evening in confusion and sadness.

8. Bees!

Bee stings are especially scary for moms of kids with food allergies because kids with food allergies tend to be allergic to other things as well.

I know it's a bit illogical, but the allergy tests aren't very accurate when it comes to bee stings, so I tend to panic.

9. We're not trying to be dramatic.

For someone who has never experienced a food allergy, the whole thing might seem a bit like a song and dance but, please don't judge.

10. I have no idea if it was something I ate while pregnant.

A common question other moms ask food allergy mamas is if they think it was a result of something they did or did not eat while pregnant.

The truth is, I'll never really know. I'm terrified that perhaps I did. I remember craving a lot of bread in my second trimester, especially garlic bread sticks from Olive Garden. I also had a lot of health problems during my pregnancy. My mom is convinced that my son's allergy is somehow related. It's not helping Mom. Please stop bringing it up.

We're not trying to be cool and go gluten free for fun. We don't think it will make us super healthy overnight or help us lose a ton of weight. We're not trying to fit in with the hipster crowd. We hate this. We're terrified that the few times he accidentally gets “glutened” have done irreversible damage to his intestines. We're afraid he'll have to live with this his entire life. We would NEVER choose this.

Wanna know more about what it's like to be a food allergy mom? Get some more information at Popsugar and share your stories in the comments.