Your Toddler’s Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions

Toddlers don't make New Year's resolutions, but if they did, I'm sure we can all think of some things we hope would make the list.  Lindsey Rickard, a writer for Scary Mommy, has put together the perfect list of must-do toddler resolutions.

Here are some of my favorites!

1. Sleep more. Wipe my nose on the couch less.

My son would need to add not wiping his nose on my shirt.  Yuck!

2. Keep my toys organized. May my old acquaintance, Bins of Chaos, be forgotten and never brought to mind!

Whoever invented all the neat color-coded toy storage bins obviously had no children of their own. It's like his favorite game to see how many different ways he can mix them up.

3. Make peace with the fact that knives, ballpoint pens, and loose change can’t be in my life the way I need them to be right now.

Exactly! I'd love for there to be an end to the meltdowns because Mommy won't let him play with the knives in the sink when he wants to help wash dishes.

4. While the stats are impressive, I’m going to work on decreasing the amount of surface area I can touch in five minutes in a public restroom.

Gross! It's true though, I'm actually shocked my son hasn't caught some sort of gross disease from all the things he finds it absolutely necessary to touch in a public restroom.

5. Be more conscious of my carbon footprint. I’m going to start by leaving the toilet paper alone, as thrilling as it is to see a whole roll torn into tiny pieces sprinkled all over the house.

Thankfully, my son isn't interested in using the toilet paper as confetti for the rest of the house. He does, however, think it's totally acceptable to shove a whole roll into the toilet.

6. Stop comparing myself to others. No more mimicking kids twice my age at the park, no more fits when my parents won’t carry me into the house in my car seat like they do my infant sibling.

And stop begging to sit in the infant car seat!

7. Try to quiet the sixth sense that gets me up at 5 a.m. when Mom and Dad are a tiny bit hungover.

Also, if he could find a way to turn off the radar that wakes him up whenever we are trying to have sex… yea, that would be a good resolution too.

8. I’m going to conquer some fears—of the doctor, of owls, of noises at night, of what happens if I brush my teeth for more than 30 seconds.

I'd be thrilled if he just got over his fears of bathing and haircuts.

9. Develop some patience. If 2016 isn’t about achieving the impossible, then I don’t know what it’s about at all.

Yes! Patience. We could use a lot more of that around here.

10. Rethink my reaction to the word no. Pretending I can’t breathe got me nowhere in 2015.

Also, the whining when I have to tell him no… that's making me crazy. Could we resolve to stop that too?

So… how 'bout it? What's on your list? What do you wish your toddler would resolve not to do in 2016?  If you need more ideas, Rickard has 26 great ideas at Scary Mommy that you've gotta check out