What Type Of Maternity Room Dad Was Your Husband?

This first one made me laugh. This was so far from my husband while I was in labor, but isn't it funny to think about?

The Sympathizer
He doesn't have a vagina, but he sure wants one! The Sympathizer feels the pain right alongside his partner. This dad matches Mom grunt for grunt. When she sweats, he sweats. When she cries, he cries. When she is in transition, he is in….who knows what, but it's loud and unattractive. Back slowly away from The Sympathizer.

And then there's this guy.

The “A” Student
The “A” Student has taken the birthing classes. He has read “What to Expect” and practiced a variety of breathing techniques alongside his partner. He knows how to time contractions. He could identify a rogue mucus plug from a mile away. Ask this guy what meconium is. Don't be shy.

I'm honestly not sure whether asking a dad what meconium is would be funny or frightening – or a little bit of both.

The Spielberg
It's true, the miracle of birth is film-worthy. The Spielberg knows that and is bound and determined to capture the glory from every angle. He understands that certain moments can only be memorialized by pointing a camera directly into the great beyond of an undercarriage. The Spielberg doesn't notice that he's boxing out the doctor with his Handycam because he's so pleased with the fluorescent lighting he's found to accent the crowning.

You can read the rest of this hilarious list on The Stir. When you're done, leave us a comment and tell us which type of dad your husband was during your labor and delivery.