What I Say To My Preteen Daughter, And What I Really Mean

Julie Scagell, mom writer for The Mid, has confessed. She's telling us what she actually says to her preteen daughter, the really important stuff. Also, she's letting us in on some secrets: what she's telling her daughter isn't exactly what she means.

Here are some of the great things she's saying and mom translations that reveal the truth (Rest easy, she doesn't have it figured out either Ladies!):

What I Say: “You don't know everything.”

What I Mean: I'm afraid you are smarter than I am. As the mother, I should know what I'm doing by now but most of the time, I'm winging it. I assumed I would be more mature at my age, but it turns out I am not.

What I Say: “You can always talk to me about sex.”

What I Mean: We both know I don't handle these discussions well. I wish I was the mom with all the right answers. Instead, when the subject of condoms came up and you said, “Yeah, I know what they are mother, my friend told me,” I yelled, “I have a LOT more experience with condoms than your friends.” You were right to call me awkward.

What I Say: “Be careful.”

What I Mean: There are a million things that can go wrong when you are out of my sight. If something ever happened to you, I would never recover. You are my entire world and I love you so intensely it frightens me.

What I Say: “Boys can wait.”

What I Mean: Don't settle down too fast. When you were little, the first book I read you was “Chickerella.” It was the story of Cinderella, told through the eyes of a chicken. And when the rooster came to rescue Chickerella from the ball, they decided they didn't actually want to get married. Instead, they started their own fashion line and lived happily ever after as partners in their own business.

What I Say: “I don't like you hanging out with that girl.”

What I Mean: I spy, with my little eyes, someone who will end up pregnant at 16. She is not a good influence. Choosing your friends is important; go with your gut.

What I Say: “I'm NOT going to tell you again…”

What I Mean: We both know that's a lie. I will tell you again, probably 5 more times. You would be astounded at the amount of things I would buy for you if you ever actually listened the first time.

I'll admit that I'm dreading the day when I have to have a lot of these conversations with my daughter. Thankfully, I've got time (even if it goes by faster than I'd like).

I love what Scagell has to say about boys though. I'm going to have to get a copy of that Chickerella book for my little pumpkin when she arrives, it sounds like a classic!

In fact, some of the things on this list are exactly what I'll be saying to my son too. I already say “Be careful” so much that he thinks it's synonymous with “I love you.” I have to admit, it's super cute when he tells me to be careful too… even if he does it right after catapulting himself from one end of the couch to the other. Be still my heart!

So what are you saying to your preteen daughters? Share your words of wisdom in the comments because I'm taking notes for the future. Need to read more about what Julie Scagell is telling her daughter? Her other words of wisdom are over at The Mid.