What Dads Think Of “The Mommy Wars”

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Will Odom, husband of The Humbled Homemaker blogger, has some strong opinions about The Mommy Wars.  He's also in a unique position to draw conclusions and share his findings.

What does he think we all need to know about how dads view the battle?

Basically, the mommy wars are senseless and shortsighted.
The comparing, judgement, meanness, offensiveness, etc. are all ridiculous and unwarranted. It needs to STOP.

All of this negativity, getting easily offended, comparing yourselves, and judging each other has to be exhausting. I honestly don’t know how you do it.
Yes, I know it’s not everyone. Really, it’s not even the majority, but the ones who do participate sure are loud.
I often feel as though people project their negativity into a post where there is none.

Lately, it does seem that everyone is offended by someone and judgments run rampant in Mommy circles!

Many would say that I shouldn’t waste my breath. That people are going to be react regardless of what anyone says. That the people who need this either won’t read it or won’t change anything.
Well, if one person reconsiders their actions, then it is worth it to me.

So what is it he's hoping we change?

Comparing ourselves to others really does nothing for us and keeps us trapped.
Is their house cleaner? So what. Do they feed their kids corn? Who cares.
As long as the child is not in danger, many of these things are personal choices. Yes, I choose to do things my way, and I may disagree with how someone else does things, but that does not make them bad parents.
What really matters is that our kids are loved, safe, cared for, and supported.

Amen! If we all focused on just making sure that all children are loved, safe, cared for, and supported I think the world would be a better place.

When it comes down to it, most of us are just doing our best to give our kids the best and that's amazing!

So what does Mr. Odom have to say about mommy guilt? I really love it!

One of the things that I often read the most is that something has “made” someone feel guilty.
The only way someone can make me feel something is if I give them the power to do so.
You should not feel guilty about the choices that you make if you are sure that you made the best choice for your family and situation.
Just because someone chooses a different manner of doing things does not mean that they are secretly judging you for the choices that you make.
And just because something worked for my family (and we share our experience) does not mean it will work for you or that we are judging you because of it.
However, I will also say that if someone does feel guilty about something, perhaps they should examine their heart and motives and determine the “why” behind the feeling.
Maybe that person does need to reevaluate and reflect on their actions or choices…or maybe they just need to throw that feeling out the window with assurance that they made the right choice.
There are times when I have found myself reflecting on a particular issue, was convicted, and realized that I needed to change something. Other times, I have been totally comfortable with the decisions that I made and just move on.

We really do need to stop taking things so personally. But I guess that's just the society we live in at the moment, because moms are certainly not the only guilty party in that arena.

Want to find out what else dads have to say about all the negativity and our tendency to be easily offended?  Find the answers at Humbled Homemaker.

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