Surviving The Holidays With In-Laws

MOPs, an international support group for moms, knows just what to do to survive and actually enjoy Christmas with your in-laws!

They've put together a list for moms like me who might be having a hard time with it:

Be honest, in a loving way.

be honest, and speak clearly. Don't be wishy-washy in an effort to keep the peace. Don't be afraid to say “no thank you” or “thank you, but maybe next time.” But make sure you do it in a loving, respectful way. It is possible to speak the truth in love. Because after all…

One day you might be a mother-in-law, too. Put yourself in her shoes.
This is hard. Often when there is tension or friction in a relationship, it's nearly impossible to imagine yourself in the shoes of the other party. But one day, if your children marry, you will be a mother-in-law, too. And you will surely make mistakes. You may even offend or upset your child-in-law. So imagine yourself in 20 or 30 years, and consider how you would want to be treated.

Show your mother-in-law grace, even if you don't want to, and even if she doesn't deserve it. Remember the golden rule, and do unto her as you would want your future child-in-law to do unto you.

I'm not good at speaking up. I tend to keep quiet and let things fester because I'm afraid that if I speak up, I might not succeed with the “in a loving way” part. I do try to remember that I will, hopefully, be a mother-in-law one day too. I'm definitely taking notes on what to do and what not to do.

Understand that you can't change her, nor should you try.
Your mother-in-law is who she is. And at 50, 60 or 70-plus years old, she's unlikely to make major changes in her personality or outlook on life.

Can I get an amen? That is certainly the truth. You'll probably be less stressed if you just go ahead and give up on that. It's not worth the fight.

Love her, even if it's from a distance.
Bitterness is an evil root, and its antidote is love. Love your mother-in-law, even if you never have a close relationship with her. Remember that she gave birth to your husband ­– the man you loved enough to marry! After all, contrary to what society tells us, true love is often a one-sided proposition. We choose to love someone, even if they don't always love us well. And it prevents that root of bitterness from spreading inside of you, threatening to consume you. For bitterness can make us do and say some ugly things…things we later regret. So choose to love your mother-in-law, as much for yourself as for her. It will do your heart good.

It's really hard for me to love people I don't always like… or even sometimes like. BUT remembering that my husband loves them does help me try.

Need more tips on how to manage the in-laws this Christmas?  Read more encouraging words from MOPs and Happy Holidays!