Stop Trying To Do ALL THE THINGS

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Sonya Spillman, mom and writer for Scary Mommy, recently wrote an honest piece about our tendency as mothers to carry too many burdens. We put too much on our plates, we juggle too many things, wear too many hats, try to do all the things….

No matter how we say it, it adds up to unhappiness, stress, and overwhelm.


Ladies, I have to ask: When did our arms get so full?
How did this happen? Who told us we are supposed to carry more than we can actually hold?
I see everyone else holding so much. We’re all busy and over-scheduled. Every single one of us does it all, or wants to, or feels bad when we can’t. Through my years of motherhood, I’ve heard the deep beating drum, like a biological clock, pound out “pick me up” louder and louder.
But, could I be listening to the wrong sound? Because when I am very still and very quiet, I hear something else—something pure and clear and true.
It’s a gentle voice saying, put it down.
Right now, in this season of motherhood, I have strong arms and a sturdy frame perfect for carrying children and the myriad obligations inherent to having a young family. However, no matter how full my life is, I don’t want busyness and unnecessary responsibility to crowd out the joy I also want to carry with me. I need to carefully choose my to-do lists so I don’t accidentally drop contentment, peace or kindness before rushing out the door.
We all bear unique burdens, although we don’t always share them. And in some seasons, our arms are too full and we have no choice but to carry what we are given. But no one can do that forever.
This year, I’m making a decision. I will effectively, protectively, and responsibly carry what I must, what I need, and what I want. I refuse to be overloaded to the point where I stay awake at night with angst and wake with anxiety. Life inherently has enough of that on its own. For now, I need to focus on holding my children’s hands and carrying the keys to my husband’s heart.

I don't know about you, but that's just what I needed to hear today. Tonight I'm going to snuggle with my son a little longer, instead of rushing to the laundry. I'm going to spend the extra time making my daughter smile and gurgle in her cute baby talk way. Then, after we finally get them to bed, I'm going to take the extra time to reconnect with my husband instead of checking my twitter feed. I don't need to do all the things and tonight I won't. Who's with me?

Read more about Spillman's decision to put some stuff down and stop trying to carry it all at the same time in her article at Scary Mommy.


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