On The Hard Days Moms Have To Get Through Sometimes

Being a mom is great. It's the best job in the world. However, there are some pretty dark days in the mom world. In fact, these days can be down right scary.

The moms at Scary Mommy understand and they want you to know:

The dark days don’t come every day, and for that I am eternally grateful, but when they are here, the last thing I want is advice. The last thing I want is some sugar-coated offering to try to numb my pain.

Amen. Right? In fact, I'm completely sick of hearing…

Don’t tell me that, “This too will pass,” because I am in it this very minute, standing over my son who is refusing to do his homework after I’ve asked and bribed and begged, the anger in my throat rising, the sounds and words coming out of my mouth freaking me out — actually scaring the shit out of me — because I sound just like the mother I never wanted to be.

Please don’t say, “Enjoy every second,” because I can’t make myself enjoy my existence my right now, my greasy, unwashed hair in a messy ponytail as I trudge behind the baby, who insists on eating his rice directly out of the Chinese take-out container.

When I hear people spout this stuff on my darkest days, I just want to slap the speaker. I fantasize about the silly looks on their faces after I slap the silly out of them.

So, for both our sakes, just don't say this kind of crap to moms in the trenches. We don't want to hear it and it's not helpful.

My pain is real then. The dark cloud is over me, and I don’t want some fake light shining over my life. I want to dwell in it a little and then move on.

Parents need less advice and more listening. True listening, without judgment, without an agenda. Without someone trying to make everything all nice and tidy. Parents need to hear, “Yes, it sucks. Yes, you are totally fucking alone sometimes.”

And they don’t need to follow up with, “But you’ll miss these years after they pass.” Of course you will miss it all. You know that already. You don’t need to hear it again.

I couldn't agree more. We really do need less advice and more listening. Especially from the older mothers we know. It would really help us to feel less like we're screwing up this mom thing.

If you agree, check out the rest of the article about the dark days of motherhood at Scary Mommy.