Is There Really Such A Thing As Pregnancy Limbo?

Did you experience pregnancy limbo?

I knew something was up when Sister Act 2 made me cry. I don’t cry, especially not when I’m on my treadmill.  Sure, it’s a nice story and I’m a sucker for gospel, but come on.

In the days following the crying episode, I felt really tired. No, I mean really, really, reallytired. My arms and legs felt like they were tied to bricks and occasionally my eyes would close involuntarily and refuse to reopen. Must be hormones, I told myself. My cycle was due to begin any day. Wait, it should have started on Tuesday, I realized. It was Friday. Uh oh.

No way I was pregnant. My husband and I had been trying to conceive for just a couple of weeks. I was only four days late. It was too early. It was my natural cycle. According to the all-knowing internet, when a woman goes off the pill, she sometimes won’t ovulate for a few months, or she’ll skip a period. That had to be it. I was just skipping a period. I was not pregnant. Why are pregnancy symptoms and PMS symptoms exactly the same? I was not pregnant.

By Saturday night I had convinced myself that I probably had the flu. My muscles ached, and I felt almost feverish. But I also had other, more suspicious, symptoms: overwhelming fatigue, short bouts of mild nausea, intense dizziness. Turning to Dr. Google once again, I discovered these are classic signs of early pregnancy. Uh oh.

“I feel really weird,” I told my husband that night, as I lay sprawled on the couch, too tired to move anything but my eyes. “I think we should get a pregnancy test.”

“You’re not pregnant,” he said. “It’s too soon.”

“But I feel reeeeeeeeally weird.”

“It’s too soon,” he said.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I said. It was too soon.

I dropped it, and that night I slept hard for nine hours. In the morning, I felt almost normal again.

That day I needed to go to the store anyway, so I decided to pick up a pregnancy test at the same time. I even toyed with the idea of buying a bottle of wine for when the pregnancy test resulted negative, as it certainly would. I wasn’t buying the wine to celebrate, rather to take advantage of that short window of time in which you’re allowed to drink when you’re trying to conceive, i.e., after the pregnancy test comes back negative, but before you have sex again.

When I got home, I snuck upstairs and took the test without telling my husband. I was a little embarrassed. We had decided that I was just skipping a period.

The test result was vague. A line appeared—the line that means you’re pregnant—but it was extremely light.

“Um,” I came down the stairs, test in hand.

He looked up from the Chargers game he was watching.

“Um,” I said again.

He looked back at the television.

“Um, so I took a pregnancy test…”

That got his attention.

“…but I can’t tell if it’s positive or negative.” I showed him the test.

After we studied it together for several minutes in good light, we decided I should take another one. I had bought a three-pack. Smart. I took another test, and this time the line was slightly darker. But it was still pretty light.

“What’s it supposed to look like if you’re not pregnant?” my husband asked.

“There’s not supposed to be anything at all in the circle. See?” I showed him the instructions.

He was skeptical. “You want to take Pacino for a walk with me?” he asked.

“Sure. Aren’t you freaking out?” I was standing next to the couch holding two positive pregnancy tests, freaking out. He was not freaking out. I kind of wished he would.

A few minutes into the walk, we decided that we would test the tests: My husband would take the last one in the three-pack to see what it would look like for someone who definitely was not pregnant. Genius.

You can read the rest of this article on Scary Mommy. When you're finished, leave a comment and share your take on pregnancy limbo.