8 Cures For Sibling Rivalry

Here's what's not in the photo:  The hour before that involved me rocking her ceaselessly so she wouldn't scream while my son begged me to go play with him in his room. Then, just after I snapped the last photo, my son smacked my daughter in the face for no apparent reason.

Sibling rivalry is alive and well at my house.  But we are working on it and Dr. Sears has some information that might help.  So if you're in the trenches with us, here are 20 ways to combat the dreaded sibling rivalry:

1. Make friends before birth. Get your older child acquainted with the new baby before birth.

We did this by showing our son pictures and encouraging him to interact with her as much as possible.  He couldn't wait to meet his baby sister!

2. Make the older sibling feel important.

I think we did a great job with this one.  Our son still thinks being a big brother is the greatest job in the world.

3. Time share.

This is one of the areas we are still struggling with. I know that my son is better able to handle the idea of sharing mommy than my newborn, but he still seems very young in my eyes. Still, it's impossible for me to give them equal amounts of time right now, as nice as that sounds.

4. Stay positive.

This is so important to remember. It's easy to become stressed out and frustrated with the situation in the early days, but staying positive can help sell the older sibling on the new baby.

5. Begin the day in harmony.

I try to always start the day this way. If nothing else, hopefully the kids will remember how nice and peaceful all the love floating around in the morning was…. ya know, before she started wailing for no reason and he started trying to hit her in the face with various toys.

6. Set limits.

I love that Dr. Sears lets me know I don't have to feel guilty when I need to lay down the law and police the situation rather than play child psychologist.

7.  Humor is the best medicine.

Sometimes my favorite part of the day is just laughing and being sarcastic with my husband about all the senseless drama between our kids at the end of a long day.

 8.  Siblings are forever. As parents of many children we wear many hats – teacher, referee, coach, psychologist, and field-general. Yet, we wear our communications hat to help our children be life-long friends. Sometime during middle childhood (ages 6 through 10), impress upon your children what “brother” or “sister” really means. Children sense that “blood is thicker than water.” Brothers and sisters are a sort of live-in support system. Here’s the message we give our children: “Your brothers and sisters will ultimately be your best friends. Once your other friends have moved or drifted away, your family friends will always be there when you need them. Friends come and go; siblings are forever.”

This is my favorite little reminder on the list.  My son already knows that his sister loves him and she knows that her brother loves her. From the moment she entered this world, they have shared a unique bond. I'm so proud of them and honored to witness their sibling relationship.

Want to learn more about how to avoid sibling rivalry and foster strong sibling bonds? Read the rest of Dr. Sears's article and share your thoughts in the comments.