4 Things You Weren’t Prepared For When You Had A Baby

Did you need a serious reality check?

1. Birth plans are just a false sense of security.

I had a “natural birth” plan. I never would have suspected that I’d be hit with preeclampsia a week from my due date, and I would end up needing Pitocin to bring on labor, antibiotics, an epidural, plus my husband holding one of my numb legs and getting a gory eyeful while I pushed—instead of me getting to squat like I’d “planned” (and had done all of those months of useless squats for).

2. You may not immediately fall in love with your newborn.

Motherly love is supposed to be woven into the fiber of our being or something, isn’t it? It’s like we’re made to believe we’re soul-less or something if we’re not hit by the mommy version of Cupid’s arrow immediately after our kid’s birth. Stress, exhaustion and severe postpartum depression cruelly combined to make it pretty much impossible for me to feel very attached to my new daughter, or much of anything really. A few weeks and an antidepressant later, I finally felt like a real mommy to my daughter for the first time. It was beautiful.

3. Breastfeeding might not work out.

And that’s not uncommon. We barely made it to six weeks before we threw in the burp rag and switched to the bottle. I just wish I had treated my depression earlier, been a lot more forgiving with myself, and found out about “tongue-tie” sooner. Definitely see a lactation consultant if you have issues, but don’t feel guilty if you find you need to quit. Just don’t.

4. Boobs don’t always bounce back.

I assumed that after I wasn’t breastfeeding anymore, they would eventually return to their original state. Well, they definitely shrank to their pre-pregnancy size, anyway—minus any amount of perkiness they once had.

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