4 Things That Seem Totally Crazy Until You Become A Mom

Debbie Butters, a writer for Scary Mommy, has compiled a list of funny (albeit somewhat sarcastic) and true facts about parenting that are just a little scary and totally won't make sense to anyone without kids.

Here's what we moms know to be true:

1. Mad O’Clock – Mad O’clock is a real time. It is the time shortly after the kids are supposed to be in bed but aren’t. The time when you are supposed to be able to sit down and unwind but you can’t. It’s the time of night when a simple innocent question of, “Mom, what is it like on the moon?” can send you into a murderous rage. Thankfully Mad O’clock doesn’t last forever. It conveniently ends just as the clock strikes Wine O’clock.

For me, mad o'clock is when the kids are having a particularly difficult day, it's raining so they can't go outside, and my husband is coming home late.  I don't have wine o'clock because my children don't sleep. I'm probably passed out from sheer exhaustion during wine o'clock. Who's with me?

2. A Valid, Yet Seemingly Disgusting, Lunch – It’s totally normal to eat the leftover crust from four different sandwiches and call it lunch. Before you had kids, this would have seemed gross and sort of mental. Now that you have kids you basically ARE gross and sort of mental … so this lunch choice fits right in with your new glamorous life.

I'm not sure whether I'm comforted that I'm not the only mom doing this or saddened that this is a legit thing for more moms than just me. I'll get back to you.

3. Talking About Sleep – This is a biggie, so pay attention. You probably imagined that having a baby who is a good sleeper would be fantastic, right? Well, you were correct, it is. You may have also believed that mentioning to someone that your baby is a good sleeper would be OK … but trust me, it is NOT. Don’t do it. The minute you foolishly utter the words, “Oh, little Malaki is such a good sleeper! He’s been sleeping through the night since the day I took him home from the hospital,” little Malaki will never sleep through the night again. Like ever.

My husband and I dream about sleep. Our “when we when the lottery” conversation involves finding different ways to use the money to get more sleep. We seriously need some sleep. Lots of sleep. We need sleep way more than we need sex right now and that's not pathetic, that's just real.

4. The TV as Babysitter – Now, of course I’m not talking about actually leaving your child home alone with just the TV and a package of raw cookie dough. I’m referring to the TV as more of a mother’s helper. For example, Sesame Street is awesome. You put it on and it’s like having a captivating babysitter who sings and teaches valuable social skills, and brings along its famous friends. And it gives you time to take a shower. Spongebob is a riot, and each episode lasts approx 15 minutes. Enough time to fold a load of laundry. Doc McStuffins is entertaining AND makes kids not afraid of the doctor. Which will come in handy when you take them all to get their flu shots later. TV is our friend. Our good friend. Sometimes our best friend.

I'm pretty fond of TV and the YouTube Kids app for occupying my son while I unload the dishwasher, fold clothes, or nurse the baby. It's amazing! What was I thinking when I said I wasn't going to let my kids watch TV? I wasn't thinking, because I wasn't a mom yet.

What else seems totally crazy before you become a mom? Check out the rest of the list at Scary Mommy.