3 Relationships That Change When You Become A Mom

In an article for Scary Mommy, author Ariella Greenbaum, addressed the way relationships seem to change after you have kids and become a parent.  We all know it happens, whether we want to acknowledge it or not.

Sometimes it's not a good thing. For instance, I had one friend who just quit calling after she gave birth to her son. Other times the change in your relationship with a loved one can be a beautiful thing, like the new found understanding and respect you acquire for your parents,  After feeling the overwhelming love you have for your own child, you're certain to see your parents through new eyes.

1. An Old Friend Who Is Not Yet a Parent

You and your friend go way back—maybe to elementary school or high school. Before you became a parent, you used to bond over post-work drinks every few weeks, confiding in each other and discussing your latest adventures. Now you have to pick your children up from school or day care, feed them dinner, and put them to bed, and after that do dishes and laundry. You may still meet up with your friend once in a blue moon for an adult playdate, but the amount of time you can devote to maintaining the relationship has changed. Should your friend always have to adhere to your schedule and visit you at your house and watch your children play? Until this friend has children herself, this relationship may fizzle out a bit.

I experienced this first hand, except that I was the childless friend in the scenario. I didn't truly understand what had happened or why until I had children of my own. Fortunately, we are still very good friends and the fizzle was only temporary.

2. Your Parents

When you were a teenager, you probably wanted nothing to do with your parents. Now you need them more than ever—for babysitting and beyond. You are ever so grateful to have them in your life after all these years of trying to earn your independence from them.

I can't explain the huge and awesome changes that happened between my parents and I. Our relationship had at times been strained and I didn't necessarily have the best childhood… but watching them as grandparents has healed old wounds and given us all a second chance.

3. A Co-Worker

Before you had children, you may have gone over to your co-worker’s desk to shoot the breeze for a little while or taken a midday coffee break together for a round of office gossip. Now you stare at the computer trying to tackle task after task in an effort to race out that door when the clock strikes 5 p.m. This means little or no time for chitchat or interruptions, unfortunately, and less bonding with your co-worker.

It is inevitable. Your relationships with others in your life change when you become a parent. You may not be able to maintain some relationships in the way that you used to, but relationships are adaptable and fluid. The strongest ones will stand the test of time and life’s happenings. Your true friends and loved ones will understand how your life has changed, and you will find new ways to spend time with and support each other.

My friendship with my coworkers fizzled until it had nearly disappeared. At times, this made work difficult because my boss (my age and childless) couldn't understand why her friend and confidant at work suddenly had other things on her mind that were seemingly more important than work. Luckily, we were able to repair this relationship somewhat before I left to become a stay at home mom this Autumn.

Curious about other relationships that will change when you become a parent?  Find out what to expect in the article about changing relationships at Scary Mommy.