What Your Toddler Really Thinks Of Discipline

Janet Lansbury recently covered the topic of toddler discipline on her blog.  Her insights are an important read if you, like me, are still figuring out how best to discipline your unique children.

Here's what your toddler wants you to know about discipline:

1. Make me your ally.

It's hard to feel like you're on the same team right after your kid deliberately pours milk on the floor, but according to Lansbury, it's scary for them to feel like you are on opposing sides.

2. Don’t be afraid of my reactions to the limits you give me.

I guess this means no cringing before the inevitable meltdown in target when I say no to that new toy.

3. Tell me the truth in simple terms, so that I can feel very clear about what you want.

I read somewhere that you should use no more than 6 words in your explanation to 2-3 year old children. I'll admit that in my attempts to be clear I often muddy my point with too many extra words.

4. Don’t get upset or angry if you can possibly help it.

That's probably where I lose half my battles.

5. If I keep repeating the behavior, it’s because it doesn’t feel resolved for me.

This is a tough one for me. My son is the king of repeating behaviors that I thought we had discussed. Parenting is tough, right?

6. Consider my point of view and acknowledge it as much as possible…even if it seems ridiculous, wrong or crazy.

I've noticed that this one really seems to help my son remain calm and work through the problem with me, even when his idea makes no sense.

7. Remember that I don’t want to be in charge, even though the toddler creed is to never admit that.

I'm still not sure I believe that my determined, independent child doesn't want to be in charge. But, I don't think he knows what he's asking for. Sort of like when you were a kid and couldn't wait to be an adult… we just didn't know what we were asking for.

8. Give me lots of YES time when I have your full attention and appreciation for all the good stuff I do. We all need balance.

This is so hard to do! It's easier to just speak up when we see the problems. It can be hard to remember to praise the great behavior we've come to expect.

9. Let me be a problem solver.

My son loves it when I let him participate in the problem solving! No suggestion is too silly when you're talking it out.

10. Thank you

We all know they're not ever going to say that… not until they're adults… but it's nice to know that one day they totally will.

Keep up the good work moms and read through the cool examples of Lansbury's toddler discipline methods in the article about what they're really thinking at her blog.