What Do Stay At Home Moms Do All Day?

What do you think? Typical?

Below is a fairly accurate description of most of the things I do on any given day. To save time, repetitive actions like changing diapers and feeding the baby are not constantly mentioned but, please be aware, they are being done.

Aaaaaaaaand, START!7:00 Wake up wishing I had gone to sleep before 1:00 a.m. Feed baby a bottle.

7:15 Put baby in high chair surrounded by Cheerios and cut up pieces of fruit while I make a completely overzealous and unrealistic to-do list.

8:00 Change baby's diaper and get him dressed to go outside. You are possibly going, “Wait — the last entry was at 7:15. It took you 45 minutes to give him Cheerios and make a four item to-do list?” I know, right? It doesn't make sense to me either.

8:25 Bundle baby and put extremely bundled-up baby in stroller. Make vague attempt at getting dressed. Put leash on dog.

8:30 Take dog for 30-minute walk, the entire time feeling guilty that baby is outside in the freezing cold.

9:00 Return to apartment. Carry stroller up the stairs of our third-floor walk-up. Un-bundle baby.

9:05 Play with baby on floor, the entire time feeling guilty that dog didn't really get enough exercise and is becoming clinically depressed.

9:35 Lie on floor as baby crawls over my inert body. Absentmindedly wonder if there is more to it than this — if maybe other people have some sort of routine that seems less stupid and boring and pointless. Wonder if there is some big thing I should be doing to help the baby's development that I am not doing.

9:40 Sit on the floor and clap, hoping to teach baby to clap. Baby will not clap. Go online and Google, “How old babies start clapping?” and read article saying they start to do this more between 9 and 12 months. (Baby is 11 months old.)

9:43 Spend the next few minutes going, “Well sh*t, maybe there's something wrong with the baby. He should be clapping more.”

9:47 Remind myself that he seems really well-adjusted and happy so maybe he's just a late clapper.

10:05 Get bored of playing with baby. Attempt one of the things from overzealous to-do list. Baby immediately crawls out of my vision and begins eating dog food. I abandon list and pull the dog food out of his mouth. He becomes sad. I cheer up baby by pretending to eat his hands.

You can check out the rest of this hilarious article on Huff Post Parents. When you're finished, leave a comment and add to the daily to-do list.