Top 10 Pros & Cons of Motherhood

1. Con: Lack of sleep.  Babies require a lot of sleep.  Unfortunately, they don’t allow you the same courtesy.  They sleep in spurts, waking when hungry, and crying incessantly. It seems it will never end, and you’re exhausted.

2. Pro: Pure Love.  You’ve heard of love at first sight?  You will love this little person more than your own life.  It is overwhelming joy and fear all wrapped up in one. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, unlike anything you’ve felt before.

3. Con: Sometimes they’re assholes.  They will ignore you to the point that you want to get their hearing checked.  They will flip out at the weirdest situations.  They are incredibly self-centered.  And selfish.  And noisy.  And mouthy.

4. Pro: The sweetness makes up for it.  Nothing can melt your heart faster than “I love you, Mommy”.  Their hugs, their kisses, their sweet baby-smell.  Being the center of someone’s universe is pretty amazing.

5. Con: Their toys are everywhere.  They have no sense of organization, of order.  They don’t understand the concept of “putting the toys away”.  Anyone who has stepped on a Lego in the middle of the night can attest to that.

6. Pro: You get to relive.  You have a reason to play again. You can revisit being a kid, for a little while anyway.  You can see the world through their eyes, and turns out it’s actually pretty cool.  You learn to look at things from a tiny person’s perspective.

7. Con: Diapers, bottles, new furniture.  You have to buy endless supplies of diapers, wipes, bibs, spit-up rags, bottles, the list goes on and on.  You have to buy a whole new room of furniture because the jerkface can’t sleep in the guest bed that you spent a fortune on.

8. Pro: Shopping! Just kidding – you are far too exhausted to actually enjoy shopping anymore.  Plus, you’re buying for someone else.  Fail! 

9. Con: 5:30am or earlier. If you have to watch one more episode of Full House or Family Matters while feeding an ingrate, you’re going to back your car over someone.

10. Pro: See #2 above.  The bond, the amazement, the love you will have for your child outweighs all of the shitty parts of mothering.  Period.

 Written by: Allyson Johns