How Do You Know You’re Parenting A Toddler?

The toddler years can be a lot of fun. Seeing the world through your children's eyes as they explore, filled with magic and wonder will fill you with a joy you didn't know you could experience as an adult. Those are the good days. Unfortunately, some days with a toddler aren't exactly “good days.” So how do you know when you've reached this point in your parenting career? If any of this applies to you, congratulations! Your baby is now a toddler.

1.  You have become a shut in. Hopefully you have a backyard because other than work, you’re going to lose your will to leave the house. It just won’t be worth it anymore. Why deal with getting a toddler dressed, car seat drama, and a potential meltdown in public when you can just become a recluse? Groceries are available for purchase online.

2.  You’ve ever had to drag a kid out of a store under your arm like a bundle of firewood in front of a crowd of gawking strangers. Good for you. Angry whispering can only get you so far. Sometimes you have to show a kid that you mean business and abandon that cart of groceries. Don’t abandon the wine, though. That’s crazy. Pay for the wine.

3.  You regularly open packages of food in stores to keep your baboon quiet while you shop. Don’t worry; it’s not shoplifting until you forget to pay for it.

4.  The person you gave birth to clocked you in the face like Mike Tyson. In public or in front of your mother-in-law at Thanksgiving.

5.  Bath time in your house looks like an episode of Wipeout but at least cleaning it up counts as mopping the floors.

6.  All four food groups can be found between your couch cushions.

Can you sympathize? It's comforting to know that at least one other person has, like me, been forced to haul her toddler out of a store like a bundle of firewood while strangers stared.  I'm jealous that this mom got to keep the wine though. I'm pregnant, so no wine for me.

Wanna laugh some more? Or just enjoy the revelation that you're not the only one who's been clocked in the face by your own sweet angel? There are 17 more fabulously sarcastic ways to know you're parenting a toddler over at toddlersareaholes.com . Head on over there to see more!