A Reflection On Valentine’s Day Gifts For Him

Stainless Steel Wallet.   Huh?  What?  Does he carry around Fort Knox in his pocket?  How could a stainless steel wallet be at all comfortable, much less “carryable”?   Not sure if that’s a word, but wouldn’t the stainless steel factor make this wallet unwieldy and impossible to carry without a heavy dose of leaning? Not to mention an almost $75 price tag.

Hot Sauce of the Month.  Considering bottles of hot sauce will survive a nuclear holocaust, why would you want him to receive one of these per month, every month?  How much food could he possibly want to season?  Is your cooking so bad he needs to season it that much?

CoffeeSock Brew Kit.  While the $15 price tag is a little more in the range of normal expectation, do you really want to give him a mason jar with a sock for brewing anything?  Especially coffee?   Your dryer eats socks at an alarming rate, surely you can find a spare one.  And mason jars are fairly inexpensive. 

Picnic Cooler for Two. While a picnic sounds super-romantic, when was the last time you actually went on one?  Sure, this one comes with its own blanket for convenience, but $80? For an insulated cooler, some coffee cups….wait….coffee cups?  Last thing I want on a picnic is coffee.  Where are the wine glasses?  

Corksicle 2-pack Chillsner Beer Chiller.  Instructions “Freeze insert.  Pop the top off any beer.  Take a swig, then insert the frozen chiller”.  Huh.  When was the last time you took enough time to drink a beer that it became warm enough you to use this thing?  Or do you start with a warm beer?  That first swig….ugh.   Price tag – $29.  Save your money.

Celebrity Cocktails.  Just what you were searching for!  You and your man can drink like celebrities like Bogart and Taylor.  Only $50…..WTF????   

Shoe Shine Kit.  Can’t even believe this gift, because I can’t remember the last time I saw anyone shine their shoes.  And for $119?  Really? 

Don’t. Just don’t.  Buy some steaks or take him out to dinner.   

Written by: Allyson Johns