4 Quick Ways NOT To Lose Your Cool Around Your Children

Our kids are experts at pushing our buttons. They know how to get under our skin better than anyone.  The moms at Mothering magazine want us to know that it's totally normal to feel stressed out and totally normal to lose your cool once in a while. Mom or not, we're only human.

As all parents know, it’s one thing to be removed from a situation and think about solutions rationally; it’s quite another to deal with a public tantrum or a kid who won’t go to bed when you are exhausted and frustrated. That’s why it’s important to have tools at your disposal to cope with these situations before they arise.

So here are some practical and speedy steps you can take to keep calm before things get out of control:

• Do some kind of physical activity, such as running around the house, jumping up and down or dancing. Exercise helps the brain process stress that might otherwise be directed toward your children.

This sounds like a great way to squeeze in my work out. Any ideas on what to do with the colicky baby while I'm doing jumping jacks?

• Sing what you would like to say to your child. Singing prevents you from yelling and tends to gets kids’ attention more easily than talking, because it’s out of the ordinary.

For me, I think singing is a bad idea. In fact, I'm pretty sure I should just keep my mouth shut when I'm not calm and move on to the next tip…

• Have a mantra that calms you down. You can put it on sticky notes around the house.

My mantra will be “Your husband will be home at 5:00. Your husband will be home at 5:00.” Sound good?

• Leave the room. I’ve had parents express concern about this, because it seems similar to a timeout. The difference is, a timeout is a controlled response by the parent to the child. Leaving the room is helpful when you know you can’t control your response, and it will be less damaging to your connection with your child than what you might otherwise say or do. When you come back — or before you go, if you’re able — you can explain to your child what happened.

I use this method a lot. I think the most important part of this step is explaining what happened when you return. Telling my child that I needed a break helps him understand that it's okay to take breaks and that it's about helping me… not punishing him.

What tips do you use to calm down when your kids are pushing all your buttons? Learn more about the tips mentioned above at Mothering.