10 Ways You Know You’re A Mom

Motherhood is like none other. Radically different from those single girlfriends of yours… how many of these have your name written all of them?

1. You can do anything – answer an email, take a dump, paint your nails, cook dinner, anything – with someone crawling all over you. It might take you a little longer, but you can still get it done … perfectly.

2. You stumble upon a moment to yourself and have a minor freak-out because for a minute you think you’ve forgotten your kid.

3. Your purse contains more of other people’s stuff than your own.

4. During a silence, your first thought is not, “Oh, they’re playing so quietly!” but “Okay, what kind of horrible mess are they making?” But you enjoy the silence so much that you’re almost willing to suffer the consequences.

5. You find poop in places that non-parents would be appalled at, like bathtubs. And pillows. And walls. And toothbrushes.

6. You get to go out for a girls’ night but are back home by ten o’clock – either stone-cold sober or barely buzzed – because your kids will still wake up at the normal time and demand breakfast as usual and being tired and hung over before 7 a.m. is not where it’s at.

7. You can’t remember where you parked at the grocery store, but your brain is a stunningly accurate database of your children’s current (and ever-changing) food preferences.

8. You see that the baby is chewing on his brother’s clean underwear and you just let him do it because hey, he’s happy and quiet and it’s not like he’s going to choke.

9. You would never splurge on frivolous things for your own bath, like an inflatable pillow and expensive bubbles and bath salts, but your kids have every bath toy and faucet cover and bubble bath and soapy finger paint and colored foam and color-change tablet under the sun.

10. You consider it a successful shower when you have time to shave up to your knees.

Thanks to ScaryMommy.com for this amazing Mom Test. To see 11 more ways to know you're a mom, go here:

10 Ways You Know You're A Mom