10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know Before Marriage

1. You really do marry the whole family.

I spent a lot of my teenage years trying to escape mine, so I wasn’t very prepared for this. I thought it was just something people say.  It’s not, it’s very true. Pick a good family.

2. It it’s important to you, it needs to be important to him.

He doesn’t have to share your deep love of Doctor Who, but your life will be easier if you agree on the important things. If it’s important to you, make sure he cares about it too. If he doesn’t care about it, he needs to at least be able to respect and care about you enough to pretend.

3. Remember, you’re not perfect. You’re only human.

When you live with someone, you start to see all their annoying little habits. Suddenly they aren’t on that pedestal you put them on while you were dating. When that happens, just remember that you’re not perfect either. You’re only human and he’s only human.

4. Marry a hard worker and you’ll thank me later.

I know the cliché says to marry a wealthy man. That’s not the important part, not even close. Marry a man who is a hard worker and you’ll always be taken care of. You be a hard worker too… even if you’re not going to hold a job outside the home.

5. Looks fade, his and yours.

Don’t get sucked in by a pretty face, because that will change. Take a look at his grandfather; he was once a young man too.  You’re beautiful, but your physical beauty will fade as you age. Make sure he’s interested in more than your pretty face.

6. Don’t plan on changing his mind or his ways.

You will think, there’s just this one thing that we can’t agree on. It’s a big thing and it’s really important to me. Maybe over time, he will see that and change his mind.  Counting on that belief can lead you to a lot of heart ache. It’s not that it doesn’t happen, it’s just unlikely. Don’t bank on it.

7. Put him first and expect the same.

When you’re married, you’re more than just a team, “two become one.” You’re actually parts of a whole, so put him first. He comes before me, before your dad, before your friends. Make sure he’s putting you first too.

8. Make goals and dream together.

Life is long & short at the same time. Dream about the future together and set goals to help you reach those dreams. Then, work together to achieve those goals.

9. Always talk about the hard stuff.

Sometimes, there’s a heavy thing in the room with you and it’s so hard to talk about that you just keep silent. The longer you stay silent, the more the distance will creep in between the two of you. The longer you stay silent, the bigger the heavy thing will get. I know it’s hard to talk about, but that’s the best thing you can do. You must.

10. Be responsible for your own happiness.

Don’t put that on your husband or anyone else. Don’t hold yourself responsible for his. Make eachother happy, but make yourselves happy too. One day, that will make sense.

What would you add to the list?

Written by: Sara Parise