My Whole World Is Different Now

I used to host a weekly girl’s night. I’d cook something amazing and open a bottle of great wine. My two best friends would come over and we’d have the best time! Sometimes I didn’t cook, on those nights we would go out somewhere with margaritas or mojitos. I used to love a good mojito!

My best friend and I got pedicures every two weeks without fail. Later, we would end up shopping for purses and shoes.  I feel a little sick now when I think about all the money we spent on those days. We had a lot of fun though! I miss the care free attitude of those outings. There was no mortgage or utility bill we needed to save our money for. We could spend it on our favorite pink polish at the salon, a new Kate Spade, and pumps.

I took a lot better care of myself then too. I spent hours each week hiking, doing yoga, and going to the gym.  I was so tiny! I look like a totally different person today.  I alternate between feeling guilty for missing time with my son in order to work out to feeling guilty for not taking better care of my body.  I still think chasing a two year old around should count as cardio! 

I really miss all the fun we had. I really miss having fun without feeling guilty about it. These days I’m lucky if I can squeeze in coffee with a friend once a month.  Occasionally, I get a few minute to paint my nails, but usually I have to go save the baby from disaster before they dry.  Exercise happens once a week on Saturday, when my husband can watch my son and I don’t feel so guilty since I don’t have to work that day.  

My world is really different. I’m different. I still think those other things are fun. I still miss them. But when I have to choose…

I choose family movie nights watching Monsters versus Aliens for the hundredth time and eating pizza on the floor instead of elaborate dinners with expensive wine.  

I still like getting together with my girls, but when I go shopping I usually go straight to the little boy’s section and skip the shoes.  I spend my money on baseball shirts and converse sneakers instead of pumps and Kate Spade.  I paint my nails at home and take my son out for ice cream instead of going to the salon.  

When I get together with my girls, we usually bring our kids and call it a play date.  Instead of wine, we serve juice boxes. Instead of going to fancy piano bars, we go to the local playground.  The Kate Spades are gathering dust in my closet because I’m sporting a Skip Hop diaper bag instead. My world is totally different and I couldn’t be happier.

Written by: Sara Parise