9 Things Your Grandmother Says About How To Raise Your Kids

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  1. You can’t put them in a bubble.  You’ll want to, but it’s just not possible.  The first time my bouncing baby boy bumped his head, I cried just as much as he did.  Three tumbles later, I begged my husband to consider outfitting him with a helmet until he had successfully mastered walking.  I soon learned that successfully walking and even running can’t protect your sweet baby from all the dangers of the world.  As a mom, we all dream of keeping our babies safe from the world, but the truth is, as Maw Maw so eloquently put it, you can’t put them in a bubble.
  2. Kids are resilient.  Since bubbles are out, that’s pretty good news.  They seem so fragile when they enter the world all tiny and soft.  Truthfully, those little girls and boys are pretty tough. They are born with strength and spirit.  So when something bad happens, don’t panic. Maw Maw was right; they will bounce back because kids are resilient.
  3. Don’t overreact.  Kids are going to fall and scrape their knees or break their toys.  If we don’t overreact, often times they won’t either. That’s valuable advice when you hit the terrible twos. My grandmother instructed us to laugh whenever our early walker fell over.  At first, I thought that seemed cruel.  When he reached the whining stage, I quickly learned to cure his hurt feelings with a smile and a statement like “Uh oh! Try again.” To my surprise, it worked! If I didn’t overreact to his failed attempts at jumping and climbing, he wouldn’t get upset.
  4. Let them struggle.  This was a hard one to learn for me. It seemed the total opposite of what a mother should do. Wasn’t I supposed to help him and guide him? Well, yes, but we all need to struggle sometimes. There are valuable lessons to be learned by struggling.  My son was a late crawler. I thought he would never be mobile. His attempts at crawling ended with him screaming in frustration and me giving in by handing him whatever toy was just out of reach.  One day while watching this, my grandmother instructed me to let him struggle. I really didn’t think it would work.  I stood there smugly waiting for her to realize this wouldn’t work when it happened. He crawled! After a few grunts and one red faced yell, he scooted himself over to his football and the crawling stage began. She was right, let them struggle some. It will save you a lot of trouble later.
  5. Good manners never go out of style.  Manners aren’t genetic.  If I wanted my son to be a gentleman, I was going to have to teach him to be one.  My grandmother taught me that it’s never too early to teach your children to say please, thank you, and excuse me.  I’m very glad I listened to her on this one.  Thanks to her advice, we bypassed the “Gimmee” stage almost entirely.
  6. Teach them how to behave in a restaurant.My grandmother believes this is a crucial skill that even some adults seem to be ignorant about. I’m right in the middle of teaching this skill.  I’ll admit that educating my two year old son is much more difficult than the seemingly effortless education of my four year old niece, but we’re trying.  One day, he will know which volume to use as well as which fork.  We might not be there yet, but I firmly believe Maw Maw was right about this one too.
  7. Children are meant to be “spoiled.” These days, there are a lot of people that will tell you there’s no such thing as a spoiled child which is arguable when we think about some of our worst encounters with unruly children.  My Maw Maw believes, like all grandparents, that “spoiling” [loosely defined by her as ‘loving them to pieces’] is what children are meant for.  She spoils all of her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and (recently) great-great grandchildren.  Is that extra piece of chocolate going to ruin them forever? Probably not.
  8. Don’t make them the center of your universe.  I’ll admit to altering the phrasing of this one.  What she actually said was “Don’t love them too much,” which sparked a lengthy debate amongst us as to whether or not you could love your child too much. The answer is no, you cannot love them too much. What she really meant was that you shouldn’t make them the sun in your solar system.  I know this advice will not appeal to everyone, but I believe it is good advice.  It’s easy to let your children and your new role as mom take over your whole existence.  If you aren’t careful, you can lose yourself in being mommy and that’s not healthy. Love them to pieces, but don’t forget that you are a person with needs and desires outside of being a mom.
  9. Enjoy it, it goes too fast.  They are only children for a little while.  Soak up every moment, because one day it will all be a memory.  It’s happening faster than you think. Spend a few minutes looking at their baby photos and you’ll soon be reminded that time is flying by.  Don’t miss an opportunity to enjoy your children and enjoy being a mom.

Written by: Sara Parise .

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