4 Reasons Perimenopause Sucks

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How many of these things are you totally not looking forward to?

1. Hair 

On your face. If you do not have a Dollar Shave Club membership, now would be a good time. 

Alternatively, you can let your Meno-beard fill in and tell the haters it's coming for them next. 

Liberating.

For most of my adult life, I've had two persistent chin-hairs: Moe and Curly. I pluck them once a month. They return. It's a dance. 

It's a dance to which they have invited their friends. 

It’s a perimenopausal rave.

2. The crying

In the last 24 hours I have wept for the following reasons:

  • My 4-year-old told me he “just love[s] me.”
  • Joni Mitchell. Blue.
  • My nanny is so good to my kids.
  • My period was gone.
  • My period came back.
  • My period made a bloody mess on my bathroom rugs.
  • My bathroom rugs had to be washed.
  • I got a package in the mail and there was a lot of bubble wrap. I’m not a good environmentalist.
  • I couldn’t decide what to make for dinner.
  • The cat laid next to me on the bed.

Maybe the weeping is unique to me. My weepiness is, on a normal day, equitable to that of a toddler.

Regardless, it’s embarrassing when you are so grateful for green tea that you start crying when the barista takes your order. 

*sniff* Please fill my reusable cup. I'm a bad environmentalist. *sniff*

3. The opposite of the crying

Dog hair on the hardwood is making me aggro. 

Aaaand now I’m crying because I’m so grateful for my Swiffer. 

I think this might be called a “mood swing.” 

I prefer to think of this more like a mood teeter-totter.

4. Sweats

Not the pant kind.

I’m down to one fitted sheet. It’s currently on my bed. The other one must have been turned into a fort.

The one on the bed is 80% sweat. Mine.

My sweet husband set the AC at 69°F — for me. 

He is shivering under a parka. I am wearing nothing but a gauzy nightgown, drenched with the sweat of a thousand hormones. 

Tip: If you have one set of sheets, sleeping on a towel is advisable. 

You have to read the rest of this on Ravishly. And when you're finished, don't forget to leave a comment and share your take.

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